Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Isn't Automation Super?

I get it now...You need to buy every product to figure out what the image is!
It's like a puzzle.





Fishing Nets Ocean tie
Fishing Nets Ocean by lifesphere
Make Neckties online at Zazzle

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You Suck At Zazzle No.7.

Well, the hate-mail has begun to arrive. I decided to switch gears a bit and try to look at things from a new perspective.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Oh, Say Can You See?

Not a product, but a shop banner that I really can't get my head around.
Am I supposed to guess what these words are?

Three Words: Genius!

Using stills from movies that are still in theaters! That is such a great idea, it should be outlawed!

THE HANGOVER BREAST FEED shirt
THE HANGOVER BREAST FEED by fatrotti
Shop for tee shirts online at www.zazzle.com

Creepy Crawler.

Somebody call the Special Victims Unit!

What's A Hest?

I looked this word up in the dictionary. It's still not funny.

Girl in a Heist - THE HEIST COLLECTION shirt
Girl in a Heist - THE HEIST COLLECTION by shunkashuutou
Many more tee shirt designs available on www.zazzle.com

90,000 Products And Growing.

Lifesphere may be one of the greatest Spazzlers in existence. From what I can tell, this person is alphabetically pulling images from PDphoto.org and loading them to every product Zazzle has.

That's How I Voted Too!

Search Google. Slap on product. Repeat.
I love the title of the "design'.

Dude... Pass the Bong

Congrats man... you'll be going home along tonight. Again.

What the heck is wrong with people? Seriously.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Chicken McSuckats.

Deep fried shit, with a side of Google Image Search. Yum!

Drawing A Blank.

Is this just over my head? I WANT to believe that this sucks but I think I just had stroke. What?
This Shop opened in March of 2007. Last update? March of 2007.

.

Store Description: BUY MY SHIRTS, THEY ARE NOT OFFENSIVE TO ANYBODY BUT YOU MIGHT THINK THEY MIGHT BE. BUT THEY ARENT.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Bogus At Two O' Clock!

I know when I want to purchase a low resolution screen-shot of a You Tube video of a heads-up display, this is the first store I will visit.

Yes, Hers are Bigger

Okay... taking a picture off the Facebook page of your dormmate and slapping it on a t-shirt is NOT generally a good idea. Although I have to admit - the picture is pretty funny.

Friday, August 7, 2009

I broke u face

This one has it all. Style. Class. Good Spelling. What more could you want in a t-shirt?

You better buy it or I'll break your hart. And he's face will get broke 2.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Hope And Change

I HOPE you CHANGE your mind about trying to sell any one of these designs.

I can't wait for the movie!

This is stunning illustration! I would love to see this character made into a Disney film!

It Must Be Modern

I have no idea what this is, or means but there is an entire "series" of them.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Self Evident Design.

Hopefully, there are people out there that love crap as much as you love creating it. This will be a huge seller!

ADORABLE!

I'm getting one of these for my niece. She just loves vaginas!

I love vaginas shirt
I love vaginas by Shirtuosity
Get shirts on Zazzle.com

But Where Can I Find One?

This is actually a pretty good design. If you are interested in checking it out, just go to the Zazzle T-shirt Marketplace and check out page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, or 23. Then skip past pages 24 and 25. Pick up again on pages 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41 and 42.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The One Thousand Dollar Button.

Apparently, there are still some Zazzle shopkeepers that do not understand the furor over what has come to be referred to as "Spazzle". For the uninitiated, Spazzle is any form of spamming the marketplace with products that are for one reason or another completely unsellable. This button is a good example.



This shop has over 30,000 items in it. Ten times the amount of products I have available across all of my shops. He is selling this button at $4.40 USD, not that anyone would ever buy it. Think of the server space that is being chewed up by shops like this all across Zazzle.
Let's crunch some numbers:
1,596,270,108 people, approximately 23% of the world population have Internet access.
Eighty-Five percent of these people also shop online. That's 1,356,829,591 people.
In May there were over 2,500,000 visitors to Zazzle.
Let's say only One percent of those people have similar surfing habits as I do and will leave the site immediately if they see something offensive, or of questionable quality. Keep in mind that most shoppers have no idea how these products are created and must be put-off when they see products like this. Is it a computer glitch? Is it a complete lack of quality control? Is it worth taking a chance that the product I wanted to order may end-up looking like that? That's 25,0000 people per month (300,000 per year, 822 per day) , that will go away and stay away from Zazzle forever. (Again, only if they shop like I do.)
Let's put that in dollar terms. If only half of those people would have bought just a single button at $2.80 USD That is $420,000.00 USD per year that no shop keeper on Zazzle will get a shot at.
So how much does a button like this really cost?
It costs you and I $1,150.68 daily.
That is one expensive button!

I Wanted Cafe Latte. This Is Crappy, I Say.

This is promoted as a High School and Kids Mug!
I don't get it. No High School..No Kids..I'm lost.


Stay Icy Bro!

The description says, "this hat keeps you crispy and tells it like it is"

Really, what the hell does that mean? Crispy? Isn't that what happens when you BURN something? But you have icicles on your lettering. And what the fuck does the phrase "tells it like it is" mean? Are you implying that some hats lie? But this one doesn't?

And you spelled "icy" wrong you dumb dipshit.

icey hat
icey by liltrip111
Make trucker hats on www.Zazzle.com

Monday, August 3, 2009

Monkey Porn II Revenge Of The Idiot.

The first film was far superior. Monkey Porn Two is a cheap knock-off.
Just like this shirt!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

I Don't Think You're a Bitch, I Think Your an Idiot

The description says, "joke". I'm not sure what the joke is. OK, let's get out the red pen and make some corrections...

You spelled "your" wrong. In this usage, it's a contraction of the words "you" and "are", giving you "you're". Honestly, it that really hard to remember? Really?

And for fucks sake, you freakin' spelled "born" wrong! It's got four freakin' letters in it, and you managed to screw it up. It's B O R N.

I'm not even going to TRY to examine the grammar... that's just a hot mess. What the hell does the phrase actually MEAN? Read the sentence out loud and tell me it makes any sense at all...

"I don't think your a bitch I think you were bron that way."

WTF?


Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Mysterious Farmers

I don't get it. What the heck is this supposed to mean?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Bob Eye Keychain

This is just weird. Obviously, it's an inside joke of some kind, which is fine... but why on Earth would you think someone would want to actually BUY this? Why?

Bob Eye Keychain keychain
Bob Eye Keychain by Bobeye
Create promotional keychains on www.zazzle.com

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Your Image Looks Like a War Zone

Oh boy, this one has it all:

1. Antisemitism with a tank shooting a Star of David.
2. Crappy rendered images.
3. Images that don't fit the product.
4. Bombs that look like poorly drawn fish.

Congrats, you really, really suck at Zazzle.

Friday, July 24, 2009

More Famous Last Words

A few days ago I featured a design by this guy. Well, as long as he keeps posting poor designs, I'll keep mocking them.

Dude... LOOK AT YOUR DESIGNS BEFORE YOU PUBLISH! It doesn't fit the product.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Dachshund with Late Stage Cancer

What's wrong with it's legs and stomach? It looks like there are multiple tumors growing out of it. What a mess.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Stealth Fishing

Look really closely for this one.

Hint: Black designs on a black shirt don't work. Ever.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

You Don't Just Suck at Zazzle...

You suck at LIFE in general.

I don't really have much to say about this shirt - it pretty much speaks for itself.

My wife is a cunt. shirt
My wife is a cunt. by danpope
t-shirts made by www.zazzle.com

Monday, July 20, 2009

Take a Nap... Please

This next design is a great example of Zazzle Spam and a really bad idea - all rolled in to one. Many store owners take a phrase or saying and change only one word. For example "World's Best: Insert Job Title" Sometimes it works fine... other times it comes across really lame. This is one of those lame times.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Famous Last Words

According to the product description, these are "Words of wisdom to brighten your day".

Fail.

The image doesn't fit on the button... and to top it off, the font is all messed up on the big word that ends in "ther".

Do you really think anyone is going to buy is crap? Really?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Global Warming and Donkeys

It seems that this guy thinks his Donkey is warming globally. I know what it's supposed to say (Global Warming my Ass), but this idea just doesn't work. It makes the person who wears it look like a, well, Donkey.

And to make it worse, the "designer" is the worst form of Zazzle Spammer. They have placed the shirt on ever size, color and style, in a variety of font colors. On Zazzle you don't have to do that as the customer can pick the shirt style and color when the are buying. All that does is flood the Marketplace with literally dozens of pages of the same design.

Congrats Mr. Donkey, you've just won yourself a YSAZ Award - also known as a Spazzle.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Well, I Know What You're NOT an Expert in...

Man... drugs and Photoshop are NOT a good combination. WTF?


Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Feeling is Mutual

I love the description where the person claims this is "sarcasm". Someone needs to send this "designer" a dictionary. To paraphrase Inigo Montoya of The Princess Bride, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

Proud Parent of a Total Moron

I don't even know what to say about this. Dude, step away from the "Quick Create" button.

Man-Bride

When you post a new product to Zazzle, they give you a range of different models to choose from. The models all have a different look, and are standing in a variety of poses. There are, of course, both men and women.

As a general rule, it's a good idea to make sure that gender specific designs have the right gender of model.

Unless it's a pro gay marriage design... in which case, there's nothing wrong with this that I can see. heh.

I Might be Spoilt

... but you can't spell for crap. Horrible grammar, spelling, and layout. Just pure, 100% shit.

This Shirt is Copywritted

Honestly, how hard is it to spell "Copywritten"? It's the past participle of "copywrite".

Congrats, you are the first one to get posted on "You Suck at Zazzle".


Hello and Welcome!

Hello and Welcome to "You Suck at Zazzle". This blog will highlight some of the worst of the worst products that are made at the Print On Demand Site, Zazzle.com

We will relish in the crap, junk, poor designs and crappy crappiness that abounds around there. Now, make no mistake, there are some really, really good artists on that site. But for each good designer, there are several who should be kicked off the interwebs. It's Schadenfreude at it's very best. If you find anything that you think may qualify, let me know and I'll take a look. If one of your designs gets posted here and panned as crap - well, maybe you should rethink your design.